Tag: contemplation
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What Masks Do I Wear to Protect Myself From Rejection
Being married to me must sometimes feel like living with a 24-hour tone-and-expression surveillance system. He looks away while I’m mid-story? NOPE! Clearly, he doesn’t care. Says “Hmm” and nods after reading my work? That felt empty AF. He’s just pretending. Yawns while I’m talking? WAR. He thinks I’m boring. Cue the eye daggers, the… Read more
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Do I let my dreams take away my joy and fulfillment instead of using them to inspire and energize me?
Every time I contemplate a question about my “dreams”, I think, “Do I even have a dream?” And every time, my mind goes to my childhood dream of becoming a famous singer. As I wrote, I realized that the way I handled my first dream is actually the same pattern that has played out in… Read more
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Am I ever masking selfish motives as a desire to help others?
A Category 5 storm hit my life in 2013. My 6-year-old daughter was sexually abused by a family member I had paid to babysit. That decision still haunts me. She endured a year of relentless flashbacks and the kind of depression no 6-year-old should ever face. Read more
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In what ways does my inner critic distort my perception of who I truly am?
Every summer, I decide to become a person who has a garden. And every summer, I am charged with negligence causing death. The prosecutor is me. The sentence: a lifetime of intense, irrational fear of going into my backyard. I imagine Joyce, the neighbour behind me, with her beautiful tomatoes, looking at me with her… Read more