Inspired by Gene Key Programming Partners: 41 and 31
Every time I contemplate a question about my “dreams”, I think, “Do I even have a dream?” And every time, my mind goes to my childhood dream of becoming a famous singer. As I wrote, I realized that the way I handled my first dream is actually the same pattern that has played out in my life again and again.
When I was a kid, I loved to sing. Being a singer was who I was; it was how I identified myself. I dreamed of being a famous singer, the kind who could fill a stadium with thousands of people cheering. I’d sign my name with a little microphone in place of the “i” and sing for anyone who asked. In my 11-year-old mind, being a singer meant being just like Mariah Carey or Janet Jackson, and I knew I would be.
But as I got older, it hit me: I wasn’t like them. I was good, but not incredible. And in a world where “good” wouldn’t fill a stadium—unless you looked like Britney Spears (’90s version)—my dream felt impossible.
Somewhere along the way, I stopped singing because I loved it and started singing to get something from it—the hope of fame, approval, or validation. I cared more about what people thought of me than I cared about singing itself.
I’d often downplay my talent or purposely sing badly to avoid being seen as a “show-off.” I couldn’t fully give myself to the moment when I sang—I was too busy worrying about who was listening, how I sounded, or how weird my face looked. Ironically, that surrender is what could have made me great.
I rarely let real emotion come through. On the rare occasions I did, it overwhelmed me, and I’d end up sobbing because I was so used to being in a controlled state.
I clung so tightly to my fantasy of what being a singer should look like that it destroyed any chance of my dream actually manifesting. Imagine if my dream had simply been to do what I love.
Instead of letting my passion take me on an adventure, I kept doing the same things over and over again: singing the same songs for the same people, while my back faced their eyes, praying for their approval.
Eventually, I just stopped singing. But the cycle continues in so many other areas of my life, big and small. Every time I have a narrow-minded vision of how something should be, this cycle is there, waiting in anticipation for me to break out of the box.
Now, at 41 years old, I sometimes do.
Gene Key 41 and Gene Key 31: The Programming Partners
Gene Key 41, the Gene Key of beginnings, is paired with Gene Key 31, the Gene Key of leadership and influence. Together, they illuminate the interplay between personal inspiration and the ability to express that inspiration in ways that guide and inspire others.
The 41st Gene Key begins the creative journey. At its Shadow frequency, Fantasy, it traps us in narrow visions of how life “should” look, disconnecting us from the present and our innate joy. Its Gift, Anticipation, uses dreams as fuel to inspire creativity and growth, while its Siddhi, Emanation, embodies the dream as pure being.
Gene Key 31 focuses on expression and influence. At its Shadow, Arrogance, leadership becomes self-serving and disconnected from true inspiration. At its Gift level, Leadership, influence is rooted in humility and a willingness to serve, while its Siddhi, Humility, reflects leadership as pure service to the greater good.
How These Gene Keys Relate to My Contemplation
In my story, Gene Key 41 and Gene Key 31 worked together in a powerful way, highlighting how our inner dreams and outer expressions are deeply intertwined. My rigid fantasy of becoming a famous singer (Gene Key 41’s Shadow of Fantasy) created a cycle of disappointment and disconnection, where I couldn’t embrace the joy of singing in the moment. At the same time, my fear of being judged and my tendency to downplay my talent reflected the Shadow of Arrogance (Gene Key 31), where I avoided authentic expression because I didn’t want to seem self-serving or vulnerable. In doing so, I suppressed the natural leadership and influence that comes from truly expressing ourselves without fear of how others perceive us.
The two Shadows fed into each other—my fixation on the perfect outcome fueled my reluctance to express myself, and my inability to express myself authentically reinforced my feelings of inadequacy and disillusionment.
Together, these Gene Keys highlight a profound truth: when we allow inspiration (Gene Key 41) to flow freely and let go of fear (Gene Key 31), we can lead not by trying to control outcomes but by embodying authentic, humble self-expression.
Contemplative Applications
To explore these Gene Keys in your life, consider these questions:
For Gene Key 41:
• Am I clinging to a fantasy of how my dreams should unfold? How is that limiting me?
• How can I let my dreams energize and inspire me without being consumed by them?
• What would it look like to embrace the joy of the journey rather than focusing on the destination?
For Gene Key 31:
• Am I afraid of expressing myself authentically? What holds me back?
• How can I lead or influence others in a way that feels humble and aligned with my truth?
• What does leadership mean to me when I strip away expectations of how it “should” look?
Practical Insights
- Release Rigid Expectations: Let your dreams be a source of inspiration rather than a fixed goal. This creates space for new opportunities and perspectives to emerge.
- Express Authentically: Don’t let fear of judgment stop you from sharing your unique voice. Authenticity fosters connection and influence.
- Embrace Humble Leadership: True leadership isn’t about control or validation—it’s about serving others by living your truth and letting your life inspire theirs.
- Balance Vision with Presence: Dream big, but stay rooted in the present. Your ability to inspire others often comes from how you navigate the now, not just where you’re going.
Gene Keys 41 and 31 together remind us that dreams and leadership are deeply connected. When we let go of rigid fantasies and fear of judgment, we can inspire and influence others through the simple act of living authentically and embracing the beauty of the journey.
One response to “Do I let my dreams take away my joy and fulfillment instead of using them to inspire and energize me?”
Huge insight and so empowering to move into your authentic self and to be the leader you were “designed” to be. This blog is an excellent demonstration of taking a risk (leading), expressing from the heart/mind connection (leadership) and humility (leadership). Thank you for sharing your experience and your enlightened state.